Monday, December 15, 2014

What's on Your Mind?

That's the question the world and its people are searching answers for. All the time throughout their day, night and even in their dreams. Don't worry! You are not excluded. You, me and everybody around, we all are perpetually trying to provide the little white answer space the BEST possible answer it deserves. Something that will stir others' mind, something that will shake the world and compel it to think in our ways, something that nobody has ever thought of/said/done. Finding this "something" is SUCH a responsibility bestowed on just a lucky few like us who have the brain+money+time+energy to carry it out utmost perfection. In fact, nobody can raise a finger at our determination, commitment and our level of perfection. We cannot eat properly, work properly, sleep properly, think properly, act properly or live properly, until and unless we accurately feed the answer space what it needs to have to be alive. After all, we are committed to make sure Facebook knows what's on our mind exactly. I tell you, that's some Serious job the world has ever seen!

But why the reality of this social media is as superficial and fake as the hundreds of profiles of celebrities? You got a question? Well, let's take a look at the distance between Facebook (or any other social media) and reality.

(All the cases that I am going to share here are true, not crafted. Of course, readers have all the freedom to think otherwise. :) )

Scenario 1: A couple got married 3 years ago. But, since last 1.5 years they are living separately and have not seen each other's faces. Some regular updates from the wife are like how much a loving husband she has got, how much she loves him and vice-versa, how blessed they are to have each other etc.

Scenario 2: A friend of mine was eager to go and watch the first day first show of a much-hyped Bollywood release. Due to some other engagements, that person could not make it to the movie. Still that friend updated status on that very day " watching (movie name) at (some multiplex)." Later asked me to check the online reviews and give my opinion as the friend would have to post a review on Facebook.

Scenario 3: Friends get together after a long time. Meet at a POPULAR cafe/food joint > check-in Facebook done > take seats followed by Hi-hellos > give orders > first round of photo session begins and continues till the food arrives > food photo session begins followed by another photo session of "enjoying the food" pics > Instaclicks > second photo session begins once the food is over > a selfies session begins followed by a session of getting next 1 week's profile pics clicked > bluetooth sharing of pics begins or instantly updating about the get together along with the pics > "Chalo Bye. C ya. We had a great time no? We rock totally! Love ya all. Muaahzzz. And, oh, don't forget to tag me in all the pics. Ok? Bbye"

Scenario 4: People with a smartphone - wake up > open Facebook > scroll down until last night's seen updates appear > visit a couple of profiles > share some updates/photos/thoughts > check's own profile page > scroll down until last month's updates appear > go to the Home page again and scroll down again. This continues throughout the day resulting in low productivity, lower level of concentration, increased rate of restlessness, trouble in falling asleep and an increased feeling of "what have I done/achieved in life?"

This is how Facebook has changed our lives and/or thinking so far. Not only Facebook, but this wave of social media along with the popularity of smartphones seems to have swept our feet of reality and landed us in some Utopian land. We have almost stopped living just for the sake of it, we live for Facebook. We live for our social media presence. You go to a movie and feel the uncontrollable urge to let your friends know about it. Rather, secretly, you want to be the FIRST one to watch the movie among your Facebook friends. The importance of sharing the news is more than the importance of watching the film. And it's same in almost all the cases. It feels like living will not be living if we can't share it in social media.

Why so? Well, one of the basic urges of human beings is to receive attention from others. Primarily, in our lives we all have our shortcomings. Most of us are still struggling to establish ourselves personally, professionally. Maybe, our family hardly hears us out. Of course, everybody is busy building his/her own life. Our friends and other associates are busy with theirs. They do love us. But they know our faults as well. So, we can't claim to have some stardom in their minds. Maybe, they are with us for long; maybe, they love us with all their hearts. But that does not make them praising us loudly all the time, they do not clap hard or bow hat every time we say something nice, and there's this urge hidden somewhere that wants to be appreciated, wants to be recognized and praised for, for everything it does. It wants to be remembered by a huge number of people. Hence, social media!

Social media gives us that world of recognition, no matter how fake or phony that is. Hollow appreciations, fake love and false expectations. For example, (this is something I have experienced and learned by myself) say you are an amateur photographer. You start clicking pics on your own and start posting them in Facebook from day 1 of your amateur photoshoot. You instantly get likes from 50 friends while 20 of them commented saying your clicks look like a pro. When the reality is that at least 19 of these 20 friends know anything about photography. (Of course, there are people who appreciate your efforts truly and who will encourage you to pursue your passions further). But there are also those who will either praise you highly or say something negative. You will be inevitably affected by both anyway. And as a result of this appreciation/criticism from people with 0 knowledge on the subject, you will either develop a sense of pride and it slowly makes you feel that you have already become a pro or you will feel discouraged and low and may even give up on your passion thinking it's not for you. When the truth is that you have JUST started your journey. You have just joined the nursery school and you still have a LONG way to go, to learn so many things before you can sit for the board exams, before you can be judged for your talents, that too by people who know something about the art form and who will not criticise you, but will make you understand where you went wrong. Anyway, so what Facebook likes result in? You stop looking for faults in your photographic attempts, you stop learning, you stop yourself from becoming a pro someday. The fake pride takes over the novice you and diverts you from the path of learning.

Coming to another point, among the 500 friends we have, a maximum number of 5 people know the "REAL WE." Max 10 belong to our core group of friends and family. 20 know us pretty well. The rest of the friends are our extended family members, relatives, classmates, collegemates, universitymates, colleagues, ex-colleagues, boyfriend/girlfriend, friends of bf/gf, ex bf/gf and their friends, friends' friends, acquaintances, have-met-just-once-in-some-parties etc. In all probabilities, you hardly interact with the 5 closest people via Facebook. Either you see each other every next day or you just call up whenever you feel like sharing something important/unimportant/least important topics. Yes, you call each other often and talk non-sense. When you people meet, you two usually wear the most pathetic clothes you can have and look so terrible with the haven't-shampooed-for-awhile hair and full-of-dust face that even the thought of clicking pics sounds horrible. More so, you got so much things to share with them that you wish you can spend a whole day together. But, when you two like or comment on each other's Facebook posts and photos, you make sure the other person is thoroughly bullied or you two keep pulling each other's legs with your private jokes.

So, what's the rest of the things which keep you hooked? It's the updates of the 80% people present in your friendlist whom you hardly care about. Still, you scroll down a thousand times to see the same updates, to see their foreign trips, to see updates which are sometime way too different than reality and you keep feeling inferior, you keep scolding yourself for being such an underachiever, you keep cursing yourself whenever you see the updates of success stories of your friends and compare your life with their (apparently) perfectly-happy lives you hardly know the truth about.

By saying that, I am not asking you to disbelieve everything that your friends update on Facebook. But, dear, do not be so harsh on yourself. Who knows? Maybe, they are feeling the same about you. Maybe, for them, you look PERFECT. Perfect is such a relative term. Until you are living their lives, you cannot say whether it's a perfect one or not.

And, lastly, because you are spending 12 hours of your day in Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg can ride that Limo, enjoy lavish holidays across the globe and continue being one of the youngest entrepreneurs in the world. Guess what would have happened to Mark if he had invested all the crucial time of his life checking updates of his friends in some other social media site?

Let's give it a thought.

Monday, September 1, 2014

My Favourite Quotes from The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

"I am nothing special; of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough."

"Give a day's work for a day's pay. Anything less is stealing."

"I don't know, Noah. I really don't, and you don't either. We're not the same people we were then. We've changed, we've grown. Both of us."

"Come to think of it, you were kind of shy, weren't you."
"I prefer the words 'quiet confidence,'" he answered with a wink, and she smiled.

Poetry, she thought, wasn't written to be analyzed; it was meant to inspire without reason, to touch without understanding.

"A dull ax is more dangerous than a sharp one."

"Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That's what it was like for me. I didn't plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it."

"You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have. I love you, Allie, more than you can ever imagine. I always have, and I always will."

"No drowning man can know which drop of water his last breath did stop;..."

"In times of grief and sorrow I will hold you and rock you, and take your grief and make it my own. When you cry, I cry, and when you hurt, I hurt. And together we will try to hold back the floods of tears and despair and make it through the potholed streets of life."

"How would it feel, I remember wondering, to be always together, yet forever apart?"

"It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox."

"...for with knowledge comes pain."

"The body slows with mortal ache, yet my promise remains true at the closing of our days,
A tender touch that ends with a kiss will awaken love in joyous ways."

Saturday, July 12, 2014

বিয়ে ও আমি, আমি ও বিয়ে

বিয়ে ও আমি| হ্যাঁ, এই বিষয়ে ব্লগ লেখার একটা প্রয়োজনীয়তা আমি অনেক দিন ধরেই অনুভব করছিলাম| আজ কিঞ্চিত সময় পেয়ে ভাবলাম দু-এক কথা লিখেই ফেলি| বিয়ে এই শব্দটির সাথে আমার পরিচয় থাকলেও খুব একটা জমাটি আলাপ পরিচয় বা পারস্পরিক গভীর টান নেই বলা যেতে পারে| বরং উল্টোটাই আছে বলা চলে| "বিয়ে" শুনলেই আমি উল্টো দিকে পলায়নপড় হয়ে উঠি| না, লজ্জায় নয়, বিরক্তি তে| অনাগ্রহটা যত না বিয়ের প্রতি তার থেকে বেশি যে ভাবে আমাদের সমাজে বিয়ে হয়, সেই আচার-বিচারের চরম অর্থহীনতা ও ব্যায়বহুলতা এবং সম্পূর্ণ যে এই বিয়ের আয়োজন, তা নিদারূন বিরক্তি উদ্রেক করে আমার মনে|

জানি, মানুষ সমাজবদ্ধ জীব| লোক লৌকিকতা করেই সবাইকে চলতে হয়| তবে আমার জীবনের অন্যতম শ্রেষ্ঠ দিনটায় আমি বাদে সবার সব রকম মতামত থাকবে, এ আমি ঠিক মন খুলে মেনে নিতে পারলাম না| যে আত্মীয়দের জন্মকালে দেখিনি, তারা 2 দিন আগে থেকে এসে ঘর ভরে রাখবে, এবং শুধু বাড়িকে মাছের বাজার করে তোলাই নয়, সব বিষয়ে expert comment এবং suggestion দিয়ে যাবে সকাল সন্ধ্যে, ওটি সহ্য করার মতন ঠান্ডা মাথা আর যার হোক আমার নয়| জীবনটা আমার, বিয়েটাও আমি করতে চলেছি, তাই কোনটা হওয়া উচিত এবং কোনটা উচিত নয়, তা নির্ধারণ করার যুক্তিবুদ্ধিও আমার আছে বলেই আমার ধারণা| আবার গোদের উপর বিষফোঁরা, ধর্ম-কর্মের সাথে আমার একদমই আপোষ নেই সে কোন কাল থেকে| তাই সকাল থেকে ওই পুরুত-এর কীর্তি কলাপ দেখে রেগে-আগুন-তেলে-বেগুন হবার idea টাকেও আমি সমর্থন করতে পারলাম না|

এবার আসি আজকালকার বিয়ের "The Most Inevitable" part এ| Wedding Photography. ওই নেশা টি আমার এমনিই আছে, মানে photography-র| তবে, আবার সেই ভাবনা, জীবনের সেরা দিনটা ক্রমাগত কোন দিকে তাকিয়ে কী ভাবে হাসলে ফোটো ভালো উঠবে, ওই নিয়ে চিন্তিত হয়ে থাকাটা বড্ড প্রহসন লাগে| জানি, Facebook-এ picture-perfect cover photo upload করা এবং অসংখ্য Like পাওয়ার গর্বটাই অন্য রকম, তবে, Facebook-এর Likes এর দাম যদি বিয়ের ওই মুহুর্তগুলোর থেকে বেশি হয়, তাহলে ভাবনার আছে বইকী! তার উপর, আমি না হয় চরম নাস্তিক বা "typical feminist" তাই ওই সিন্দূর-শাঁখা-পলার কদর বুঝিনা বা মানিনা, কিন্তু যারা এসব খুব বোঝে এবং মানে তাদের যখন দেখি সিন্দূরদানের সময় ওই "moment" টাকে feel করার থেকে বেশি আগ্রহ photographer-এর দিকে তাকিয়ে লাজুক pose দেওয়ায়, বড়ই বিভ্রান্ত লাগে| বিদেশের মানুষ কিঞ্চিত আগে ভাবে সবকিছু, তাই ওখানে non-intrusive wedding photography টা আজকাল সবাই prefer করে দেখতে পাই| এ বঙ্গভূমিতে কবে এমনটা হবে?

আমার next concern হল সাজ পোষাক| আজ ওবধি আমি লিপস্টিক বা আইলাইনর বা কাজল, একটাও expiry date এর আগে শেষ করতে পরিনি| তাই ওসব কিনিওনা। এই তিনটে বস্তু বাদে আমার cosmetics collection এ আর কিছু নেইও| আর একদিকে, মেয়ে হয়েও সোনাদানার সাথেও আমার খুব একটা জমে না| কাঁড়ি কাঁড়ি টাকা দিয়ে গয়না বানিয়ে জুজুদের ভয়ে আরো এক কাঁড়ি টাকা মাসে মাসে দিয়ে লকার-এর ভাড়া গোনার কোনো অর্থ আছে বলে তো আমার মনে হয়না| তবুও, আমার এহেন যাবতীয় অপদার্থতার জন্য মাফ চেয়ে নিয়েই বলি, এত সুন্দর একটা দিনে ওই makeup এর overdose আর গয়নার গা-কুটকুট্ নিয়ে চূড়ান্ত uncomfortable হয়ে আমি ঠিকঠাক বিয়েতে মনোনিবেশ বা বিয়েটা উপভোগ, কোনোটাই করতে পারবনা| গয়নারাও তাদের এহেন অপমানের চরম শোধ আমার উপর কোনো না কোনো প্রকারে তুলবেই, এ ব্যাপারে আমি নিশ্চিত|

এবার আসি আর এক চরম চিন্তার point এ| Social Marriage. প্রথমত, Inflation এবং বাজারের অবস্থার দিকে চেয়ে এই ঘপাত করে কয়েক লাখ টাকা বিয়েতে "উড়িয়ে" দেওয়াটা আমায় বড় ভাবায়| মানে, বুঝলাম, আপনি "আমার আছে ওরাচ্ছি, তোমার তাতে কী হে বাপু" বলতেই পারেন, তবে ওই টাকাটা bank-এ থাকলে আপনারই সময়-অসময়ে কাজে লাগতো না? আজকাল তো একটা স্টিচ করতে গেলেও হসপিটালগুলো minimum 10,000এর বিল ধরায়| আর এই যে বিয়েতে টাকা খরচের প্লাবন এটা তো সেই চিরাচরিত মনুষ্য স্বভাব, Showoff এর ই জন্যে| Competition, showoff, টেক্কা দেওয়া - ওই সব আর কী! তাও আবার টেক্কা দেওয়ার জন্যে যাদের ডেকে এনে খাওয়াবেন তাদের মধ্যে 80% (বাংলায় আশি শতাংশ) পান মুখে দিয়ে বেরনোর সাথে সাথেই বলবে "ইস...এত বাজে কাবাব (যে কোনো আইটম বসিয়ে নিতে পারেন কাবাব এর জায়গায়) বাপের জন্মে খাইনি!" তা, আপনার লাভের লাভ কী হল? বা ধরুন পাত্রপক্ষ হলে পাত্রীপক্ষের তত্ত্ব দেখে মুখ ভার করবে and vice versa. (এটা আমার জন্ম থেকে আজ ওবধি দেখা সবকটা বিয়ের মিলিত অর্জিত জ্ঞান|)

আমি আবার আমার নিজের বা পরের লোকের পরিশ্রম করে আয় করা টাকায় হাজারটা লোক ডেকে এনে এই সার্কাস করার খুব একটা পক্ষপাতি নয়| ভুল কিছু বলে থাকলে মাফ করবেন| তবে এসব আমার একান্তই নিজের ভাবনা চিন্তা, সবাইকে যে এমনটাই ভাবতে হবে এমন কোনো বাধ্যবাধকতা নেই| বিশ্বের বৃহত্তম লোকতন্ত্রের স্বাধীন নাগরিক হবার দৌলতে এ স্বাধীনতা আপনার অবশ্যই আছে|

তাহলে, ভাবছেন আমার কী রকম বিয়ে পছন্দ??? সেটা আর একটা লম্বা কাহিনী, তাই এর পরের ব্লগের topic ওটা|

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Sahare Brishti Suman Chattopadhyay Lyrics

Esho koro snan, nabo-dhara jole bolbe ke ar?
Sahare brishti, jol kada makaha nongra dedar,
Gitabitan er shukno pataye barshar gaan
Rabindranath ekla bhejen, amake bhejan...

Nipobon nei sahare royeche kora nalbon
Serial e dekha hero heroine sajano dujon
Pedal nouko sohure lake-e promod tori
Esho hey ashar chhataye tomaye boron kori

Esho koro snan, nabo-dhara jole bolbe ke ar?
Sahare brishti, jol kada makaha nongra dedar...

Protibeshi maathe gelo barshaye dekhechi sobuj
Ei barshaye shey maathe uthche bari gombuj
Promoter shone takar bodole barshar gaan
Rabindranath brithai bhejen brithai bhejan

Esho koro snan, nabo-dhara jole bolbe ke ar?
Real estate shone ki kokhono megh malhar?

Friday, June 6, 2014

Daak Peon Lyrics from Maach Mishti And More

Aaj jholmol kore uthlo notun sakal
Bhire thasha buro rastaye
Tram line r asphalt uthlo heNshe
Onekdin por Kolkatae
Purono bhoyeder torongo khule
Aaj roder shukobar din
Daak dilo neon dak peon
R poster saNta dewal ra shob
Sohore saaj saaj rob
Pamphlet e notun kore beche thakar kolorob...

Aaj sheetghum bhenge aarmora bhangche dekho
Baatil shob showpno gulo
Roddur r shon-shon hawa ekjot hoye
Jharche koto kaaler dhulo
Aaj jadughore shob himel vault e
Pran fire pabar morshum
Daak dilo neon dak peon
R poster sata dewal ra shob
Sohore saaj saaj rob
Pamphlet e notun kore beche thakar kolorob...

Churmar hoa addibarir chhade
Khelche koto gaacher chara
Shopping mall e ekta khude meye
Dyakhe kaNcher faanke megher ishara
Notun r purono mile mishe
Dekhe samne cholar calendar
Daak dilo neon dak peon
R poster sata dewal ra shob
Sohore saaj saaj rob
Pamphlet e notun kore beche thakar kolorob...

Jhul pora dokaner chhera collar-e
Aaj coffee shop mukh ghose
Chok choke balisher haat dhoreche
Aaj ja kichu khosh khoshe
Moshrin r ebro-khebro banalo eksathe
Banchar mosaic
Daak dilo neon dak peon
R poster sata dewal ra shob
Sohore saaj saaj rob
Pamphlet e notun kore beche thakar kolorob...

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Hazaaron Khwahishain Aisi Mirza Ghalib Lyrics

Hazaaron khwahishain aisi ke har khwahish pe dam nikle
Bohot nikle mere armaan lekin fir bhi kam nikle

Dare kyoon mera qaatil kya rahega uskee gardan par
wo khoon, jo chashm-e-tar se 'umr bhar yoom dam_ba_dam nikle

[ chashm = eye, tar = wet, dam_ba_dam = continuously ]

Nikalna khuld se aadam ka sunte aayein hain lekin
Bohot be_aabru hokar tere kooche se ham nikle

[ khuld = heaven, be_aabaru = disgrace, koocha = street ]

Bharam khul jaaye zaalim tere qaamat ki daraazee ka
Agar is turra-e-pur_pech-o-kham ka pech-o-kham nikle

[ daraazee = length/delay, qaamat = stature, turra = an ornamental
tassel worn in the turban, pech-o-KHam = curls in the
hair/complexity ]

Magar likhwaaye koee usko khat, to hamse likhawaaye
Hui subah aur ghar se kaan par rakhkar qalam nikle

Hui is daur mein mansoob mujhse baada_aashaamee
Fir aaya wo zamaana, jo jahaan se jaam-e-jam nikle

[ mansoob = association, baada_aashaamee = association with
drinking ]

Hui jinse tavaqqo khastagee kee daad paane kee
Woh hamse bhee ziyaada khasta-e-tegh-e-sitam nikle

[ tavaqqo = expectation, khastagee = weakness, daad = justice,
khasta = broken/sick/injured, tegh = sword, sitam = cruelty ]

Mohabbat mein naheen hai farq jeene aur marne kaa
Usee ko dekh kar jeete hain jis kaafir pe dam nikle

Zara kar jor seene par ki teer-e-pursitam nikle
Jo wo nikle to dil nikle, jo dil nikle to dam nikle

Khuda ke waaste parda na kaabe se uthaa zaalim
Kaheen 'eisa na ho yaan bhi wohi kaafir sanam nikle

Kahaan maikhaane ka darwaaza 'Ghalib' aur kahaan waaiz
Par itana jaante hain kal wo jaata tha ke ham nikle

[ waaiz = preacher/advisor ]

Although this ghazal is more famous for the great ghazal maestro Jagjit Singh saab's version, but, here, I would like to share with you the female version sung by Subha Mudgal from one of my most favourite films of the same name, Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi by Sudhir Mishra. Here's the song and hope you will enjoy it as well -